On Unpardonable Sins
Trigger Warning: Post contains OCD triggers, in particular those who are sensitive to religious forms of OCD. If you are changing theme in your OCD or are struggling with scrupulosity currently and are not on any treatment, I would recommend visiting the International OCD Foundation.
Exposure and Response Prevention
I’ve completed my ERP therapy. Thanks to both medication and ERP I’m in a “complete” remission of symptoms. I can truly tell you I hope to never go through that again, but I do not regret doing so [ERP] (and would do it again if needed to). I feel peace and am relatively anxiety free. Results may vary from individual to individual, but for the most part a significant decrease in symptoms is expected should one complete therapy.
So, what is ERP and how/why it works. The basic idea is actually deceptively simple. That doesn’t mean it is easy. Let’s take the example of someone who is afraid of heights. This fear of heights triggers an uncomfortable amount of anxiety at a certain level. We start with a scale from 1 to 10 (or 1 to 100). This scale is known as subjective units of distress (aka SUDS). This person who is afraid of heights would back away from the balcony (avoidance/escape response) if on say, the tenth floor. By Read More…
So, why do I consider myself an atheist (part 2)
It is very difficult to convey all of the emotions and thoughts which went along that period of my life. I think that was the closest I’ve ever been to being “insane.” I still couldn’t tell the entire story to my parents. How would they understand how ultimately “evil” their child was, or so I thought. To a degree, the abuse made a sort-of twisted logic and fed into the idea that I deserved it. It made sense in terms of the abuse I received, and it made sense “theologically” too. I started to search for answers among my fellow Christians (at that time). I prayed the sinner’s prayer with other born-again Christians a few times (I meant it with all the faith I could muster). I remember calling Silent Unity to pray on a regular basis. I thought if I would be born-again, then God would love me again. I was anointed with oil, a sacrament for the sick. It is a Christian truism that if God doesn’t answer your prayer than he would make you strong enough to endure whatever trial befell you. To an extent, I agreed, but my trials were getting harder and harder. Read More…
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