Part 1

It is very difficult to convey all of the emotions and thoughts which went along that period of my life. I think that was the closest I’ve ever been to being “insane.” I still couldn’t tell the entire story to my parents. How would they understand how ultimately “evil” their child was, or so I thought. To a degree, the abuse made a sort-of twisted logic and fed into the idea that I deserved it. It made sense in terms of the abuse I received, and it made sense “theologically” too. I started to search for answers among my fellow Christians (at that time). I prayed the sinner’s prayer with other born-again Christians a few times (I meant it with all the faith I could muster). I remember calling Silent Unity to pray on a regular basis. I thought if I would be born-again, then God would love me again. I was anointed with oil, a sacrament for the sick. It is a Christian truism that if God doesn’t answer your prayer than he would make you strong enough to endure whatever trial befell you. To an extent, I agreed, but my trials were getting harder and harder. Read More…